Now re-think of what it happens last thursday. I may have to conclude i'm living in a world of denial. Just because of you. You, by the nickname who i called blabla(blasquare) since secondary one. The nick whom Qing and I called you. Why is it always have to be you?! You know how much have I been trying to forget and move on?! But it was you again..AAHHHThursday, 23 November 2006. I went out with Yanti. A small twosome outing for girls. Window shopping, and watching movie. However, it seems like i never ever to have fate with the tarot man which whom the rest have seen. Just a sight would be done, as all i need is to ask a few question man..is it that hard? In the end Yanti and I left with nothing to do walk around, bathed in the atmosphere of Christmas Festive. The decorations and lightings did attract me. Whao i just love it man, as if i'm in heaven man. Especially the Christmas tree in front of HMV, the blue tree and crystal Christmas tree( by Swansoski) but still i love the Christmas tree at the basement of Takashimaya. Haha funny right? After enjoying, we decided to walk from Orchard to Dobby Daubt. Haha unbelieveable huh? But that was true man...
Along the way we were talking and my mouth was lingering about him, his name always just came out of my mouth automatically, without any energy wasted, without thoughts. God knows why that's what i think. However, in her eyes, she sees my feelings for him. Haiz, i wonders do all Capricorn looks the same? As my god bro did the same to the one he loved. Waiting was all we did. Ha but we have one difference which my friend identified after i told her his story. He at least try(s) for chances, no matter how much rejection he gotten. Yet, i'm just standing there watching him from afar. Yea i know i'm stupid, but it is better this way, he can have girls that's way better than me. And my bro is more confident cos his a MAN!!..ha lame reasons? Maybe...cos i think i don't fit him.
I feel insecure, fear as there are lots of girls were charmed by him, their features, background, academic, etc are much more better than me. Then, y not jolly well step out from the circle? Watching over him actually is not as bad either but i know just cant cross the line. And I think i'm satisfy to be just friends. Now then i realised again i did miss him, no matter how i try to erase his memories from my brain, but it is just unremoveable. The more i talk about him, the more i wanted to see him, the more excited I am. The whole journey was just about him. Yanti had also gotten my influence think of the person she once liked. I may have to apologise. But i seriously just cant stop, no matter how i change in the end i was in the same topic again. I'm in deep sorry, Yanti.
I envy you and my friend, Qing, why can you all move on just so easily. And i JUST CANT! Is it the curse of capricorn? Then i won't want to be capricorn man, i suffered. No matter how many goodbyes said are no used. Forget it man, if i see you again i shall bite you, rip your head off man...just to vent my hatred on you! Luckily, i never lost my 1st kiss to you like the scene of japanese "It started with a Kiss",
if not i think it will be nightmare that never wipe off. Now, i got to start over again for the days of getting rid of you, out of my mind and HEAD! NO MORE YOU!..GET LOST!!
