That day i was still considerating whether to go see you or not. Think over and over again, pondering about my feelings searching for the answer. However, i have never try missing that's all i know. All i wanted to do was forgetting you but that time i was still pondering. Then seeing my god brother going to his friend's house that was quite close to you. Sub-conscious my brain make the decision by followng him...is it i too miss you?...i really don't...

All i know at that moment, was i am very tired, exhausted from all the walking and roads. Yet, my heart and mind had kind of make me numb and bring my legs to where you leave. Then, there i realised. I no longer like the time i trying going your house anymore. I could confidently take the lift though i did shun people, trying to take the lift alone. I did not stop even though my steps were slow and quiet standing in front of you house. My heart did skip fast every minute past, hoping you did not discover my presence as well breathing under my breathe calling you "idoit, stupid" which i am so used to...

I stood for a minute or two outside your bedroom window...this time i'm alone..i try saying goodbye a few times. Repeating the goodbyes a few time but my legs not moving until i hear keys behind the door. I immediately dashed up the stairs, peeking at a corner to see if it was you with my breathe choked. After seeing someone from your mother walked pass, i intended to walk to you again...but in the end, i pressed the lift button. Silence, confused, heavy hearted. However, i am really saying goodbye to you, no matter. While tracing way back to take bus, i had illusion about you again, about to turn back but when i see closely, it was not you. Not anymore, i was really imagine things, but i'm relieved it is not you, if not i don't know how to face you, or explain...

I'm so silly, i kept turning back and memories came to me how you had went home on the route and how i have trailed it sometimes. "Goodbye," i said softly to the spirits listening and rushed off for the bus that i saw coming.

Hope for a real goodbye,
to forget you,
to stop the memories of you,
to stop dreaming the day would come,
to move on and wish you happiness.

Still i keep missing you,
Think of you,
Looking over you,
Not for repaying,
But praying for you all the best.

Worry for you sometimes,
Now really hope,
Hope you find your girl,
Whom you thinks the fate brings,
All the best and goodbye.

A real GOODBYE!!! (hope so..don't haunt me anymore)