Hai~ today's lesson so interesting! Woots has something that I like...animated programme for me to actually has hands-on. Sad to say my laptop does not contain the program and I had to trouble people haha! Even though tired and almost sleeping, I able to catch things fast enough with hand-ons, yes what I had thought is correct.
Finally, I had said my words. I can only have better communication with her after a quarrel. Mainly, we have a large age gap and out character, attitudes are almost totally different from one another and can't meet each others' eyes. Sometimes wondering did she understand, and she never know. In the end I would always be the one soften down and give in to her. After the quarrel everything that she wanted to know would be revealed. However, I would still keep some that I'm unwilling to. Sometimes, she can't give in much help and she's over stern which I'm unable to speak properly to her. I feel so tired being a jailbird, being always under her wings, someone that is so worthless to her, feeling being control. That's how I'm struggling much to survive from all this, to get freedom, to be out of it. Then my blog would be ponkies wants freedom. This is the meaning behind it which no one will be able to unnderstand, even you right? In conclusion, I would only get 1 or 2 days off from work just to satisfy her. This is the most I can give in. I don't want to face her too much to feel pressurized and being nag. Though sometimes feel gulity and sympathy for leaving her alone, still I would want a distance. This distance is not to her only, it includes all. ALL I mean it in act and words. I treat parents and friends equally which shows my cold-heart and solid shell, the cruelties I can bring to all. I would prefer seeing you less to hurt you further, the only way I can hurt you indirectly and avoid your misunderstanding
Love rainy days for it tears and washes,
Being alone where I can store and no one knows,
Thunder for protect and lost,
Waiting till the wind blows,
When the clouds are clear and pure,
till then the sun is bright as gold.
*Chris
Labels: Bottle feeling
