Valentine's over! Still hope the couple around me will last and no matter what upsets they can overcome together. Singles will be paired soon *wink*...just wait as it's the only way...haha

......Sorry........
Guilty overwhelmed for 3 days...
Apologetic to those I felt owning,
Obvious I'm just a mess now...
Now I'm hoping for the best to happen...
Sorry which I never meant it..
For I felt disappointed...

I think it's time to turn away before I start to lose myself and felt even guiltier. I shall never try, lose control and bother at all. For it's all becoming worst for everything around me. I'm optimistic, but I can sense and see things changed so frequently that I shan't have accept it in total at all. I regretted letting myself doing so and getting close, lowering my guard. When more trust and faith given in, it's meant fear, change, hurt, disappointment. All this shall never have happened if I never have intention, listened. Now I finally understand what he meant by "I'm someone who's easily hurt." Just as what she sometimes thought in mind which I think therefore she kept the secret. Including the tarot man. I'm not avoiding, I don't even know what I'm avoiding if you think I am. I just really disappointed and felt guilty, maybe I'm too hard-headed but true was I had dragged too many people down. My mind not in peace, everything is a mess. This lie had decieve alot of people that "trust" me, gave my friend away so accidentally, made someone angry, kind of cursing someone, felt lacking of responsibility. All just came into it which bother me. Last time, I can be botherless to my lies and guilt. However, today, at the moment the lie bothers me too much for it concerns alot of people, including trust. What a failure! In fact, I had wanted to withdraw from this long time but thinking of how it started it just can't bring me to put an end. For maybe of the fun time we shared, the closing gap we have, the secrets and thoughts, your magnanimous that make it so unbearable. I think I should let it go let, keep a distance is better than closing the gap as I'm afraid I will lose more things instead. Soon, I'm leaving and even trying to vanish. Good news I will remember you all even though I can be cold.

The pain and urge were sufferable,
Still I kept it hidden well,
Dismissed in force for better,
Smiling to face in best,
Yet it so torturing,
Tiring to struggle.

Worry not,
I can hold on it,
Playing doesn't mean unwell,
I'm alright always,
Only for sometimes,
As there's no written saddness in me,
Cos bright and positive is me.

I'm always sunshine,
If not like lighting thunder,
That's obvious,
Stop over think I'm weird,
Perfectly fine should replaced then,
More share yourself instead,
Let my glow shone on you.

*Chris

Suppress for weeks (I think), then everything just flashed and flooded in making me lost. Unease with water washed which I hated the feeling. By right, I'm to be blamed for today's almost everything. My foul mouth that can almost bring everything true. Today is just so terrible. Ya, a terrible valentine for workplace customers and me. Terrible and horrible that makes my mood so down especially after work. Just maybe I'm true and honest to friend, otherwise meant stupid for what people would explain. Now become both parties have fight. Haiz~ this is me, always causing trouble and hurting people. So now I have to wait for my time to leave, yes it's even firmer and clearer to me already. At least can be away. *SOB*..haha

Labels: Bottle feeling